e' Tell me we gotta get used to this.

I'll stay strong, I will..

Tuesday, October 20, 2009, 11:15 PM

I finally had a chance to sit down at my desk to blog about this.

To my endearing friends and yes, everyone of you who cared and esp you.
Honestly, I don't know how to express my thoughts however I really really appreciate the care and concern you people showered on me.
My life has became haywire. I mean yes seriously there's a major problem happening to my family. I don't have or need to hide.

I know I can no longer cope with the stress and violence in this family every night. Thus, I seek for advice from two of my lovely ladies. All thanks to them. My sis and I felt much better and they actually offered to help us with everything we need - a place to study, someone to talk to, or even someone to have a meal with.

So what you have depression?
What makes your 'face' so important?
What are doctors, psychiatrist, consultant for? They make a living by sitting in front of their desk doing nothing?

You're already in such state that you can't control your anger management. You don't behave like a normal human. You are scaring everyone of us in the family. Not blaming you. But, I need this home. I don't want to have the phobia of coming back home and see you screaming etc. Those scary moments are seriously etched in my heart. Please don't hurt your daughters anymore. We don't wish to see you and daddy in such state either.

We tried our best to help. Both of you had never listened. You two think that this matter - which has been dragging for years is that not serious at all. Which I totally don't agree with. Everything's driving us mad. Seriously, we don't deserve these torture ):

I apologise that I hurt you. You blame me for calling help from aunt cause you lose face!
But please understand, the way you snatch my phone (my only hope to call for help) away from me and hit me, makes me defense myself more and held the phone tight to avoid you from keeping it or even throwing it downstairs ): Moreover you'd already smashed the glass. I felt helpless.

Now that you agreed to seek help from the doctors, I'm more relieved.
My sis can concentrate on her 'A's and my dad - please stay strong daddy we need you to be the pillar once again.
Don't fall again. This year has been tough, really.

The wound still hurts, thou its just small and minor wounds. It hurts physically and mentally.
I claimed that I've given up but I don't want to. I will not give up any hope.
Last chance, please listen and take each step slowly at one time.
You two are grown ups ):
I really hope things will improve and goes smoothly.

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
"The distance is nothing; it's only the first step that is difficult."

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard", I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"